I’ve been quiet lately.
Ironman Chattanooga was this past weekend. I was not there.
The week I came to terms with the fact that making the trip from NY to TN was just not feasible was really difficult for me. I cried. A lot. For a whole week. This has been my dream for many years now and it was finally tangible, and then it wasn’t.
Life has been tough lately.
We sold our house in Geneva really quickly and for more then we ever expected it would be worth when we bought it five years prior. But the sale was arduous. Then we packed up our little house and stuffed six years and a household worth of stuff into my parent’s basement. We’ve been living with them since June.
Instead of buying a resale house, we sunk every penny to our names into a new build. I tried to hang onto the small amount of money I had set aside that would be just enough to get me to and from the race, but ultimately my family needed that money for everything we had going on with the new house. It felt selfish to keep it for myself, for something that as important to me as it is, is frivolous at the end of the day. And besides having all our money tied up right now, both Rob and I started new jobs and getting enough time off was not an option for either of us.
The week all of this came to head was so hard for me. Doing my Ironman is important to me. And once again it slipped through my hands.
I did register for a full marathon as a “consolation” race. I’m going into it pretty under trained. I suspect my finish will be ugly and uncomfortable, but I’m too stubborn to forgo two races this season. I mean, I’ve done quite a few long runs, two plus hours, but I’m not going to hit the magically 20 mile mark before race day. It’s okay, I can muscle through.
And to top it off, I’m having a lot of “what did I do” moments about leaving my last school district. My new district is… difficult. I’m struggling. I’m not happy there. But I don’t have a choice. I have to just buckle down and do my best, but the stress is eating away at me. The only perk is I’m finally dropping the rest of my pregnancy weight. The weight is coming off steadily since I started, so thank you stress, for having one positive outcome.
I’m hoping to start posting regularly again, even if that means once a week or so. I just needed some space for a bit while I processed withdrawing from my dream race as my life exploded all around me.
But anyways, hi again internet world.