It’s Monday here in Zombieland. I’m tired. Sleep is difficult and short lived. Baby is needy a lot. My needs go by the wayside sometimes. But I guess that’s just the way it works now.
I’m two weeks postpartum today and trying to learn a new normal. New way of sleeping, functioning, taking care of a new little person, of taking care of myself and Griswold and Rob, of getting things done around the house, of seeing and accepting myself. Everything is very different.
A little postpartum update- My c-section is still kind of tender and sore. Getting up from laying down is still probably the most painful thing I do. That and stretching. And sneezing. I really have to brace myself for a sneeze or a cough. But at this point I am feeling a lot better. I’m down to pain meds as needed and am sticking to a combination of Tylenol and Ibuprofen 99% of the time, if I take anything at all. I’m hoping to be pain free in another week. Hopefully. I’m tired of holding my belly.
My body, ooof. I gained an even 40lbs. And not for lack of trying to keep it off. I stayed active, running and spinning until I was 31 weeks, and after that I was going out and walking almost everyday, sometimes multiple times a day if I could. But my body just did what it was going to do. I’m hoovering around a 19-20lbs lost right now, and I know it would be more if it wasn’t for all the Thanksgiving leftovers that we were given as a way to not have to grocery shop or cook for another week. They are delicious and I’m grateful for it all, but I also really want to start shaking all this weight off. I did get cleared to walk at my doctors appointment, so I’m planning to start hitting the treadmill today and start walking everyday until my six week appointment when I will hopefully be cleared to start working out for real. I’m having a bit of a tough time adjusting to a whole new body. It took me 27 years to learn to appreciate and accept the one I had and now it’s all different and I feel like I’m starting back at square one. All my clothes fit awkwardly and weird and my size needs are different. For the first time in my whole life I have a tummy and it’s weird and squishy and flops over my incision kind of funny like. And I still have another four weeks before I can actually start working out again.
I do keep reminding myself that this new body of mine spent nine long months growing a new life, a whole human person inside of it, so I can’t fault it entirely.
Life with a newborn is also interesting. I’m definitely kept busy, which is crazy because right now she mostly sleeps. But somehow I’m still constantly tending to her. She’s lucky she is so darn cute, so I don’t mind. I definitely love when she just hangs out tummy to tummy with me and either snoozes there or looks around and hangs out. It’s basically my favorite and worth forfeiting some of my own personal time to enjoy all the baby snuggles. I know they aren’t forever so I’m trying to soak them in now.
So two weeks in I’m realizing that this is hard, and tiring, and I’ve definitely cried quite a few times already. But it’s also pretty incredible and surreal and I’m happy to be taking on a new adventure.