Me vs. The Universe

I was planning to put a well thought out post together, but I’m not quite feeling it. My Tuesday was rough, but for no particular reason. I’m just tired and kind of bored and stressed at the same time. 

I’ve been feeling overwhelmingly emotional lately and I just sort of figure it’s for no real reason either. Not one I can pinpoint at least. Anything vaguely fitness inspiration related makes me tear up, which is unlike me. And I spent Tuesday night on the brink of tears for a reason unbeknownst to me. 

And on top of that, the bit of knee pain I experienced after my half marathon a few weeks ago has reared it’s head again. Yesterday I could barely walk in the afternoon and after pretty easy base run that was my only knee stressing workout. 

One size fits most is never nice for my self esteem. Look at that leg bulge. Thick girl problems.  

I felt it during spinning Tuesday night and ultimately bailed about 15 minutes early. I was just not in the mood, not working as hard as I normally would, and my knee was hurting. Plus my favorite instructor isn’t teaching the 5:30 class anymore and that makes me sad. The new girl is okay, but I miss chatting with Ellen. 

So a phone call to my sports med doctor is in order now. I was going to wait until my follow up appointment for my hip and just have them check my knee then, but I don’t think I can hobble along for two and half more weeks. So I’ll call about my knee and make them do something about my hip too. The pain has mostly subsided, but the swelling is still horrendous. Looking at my legs straight on, the outside of my right thigh is so swollen and bulging. 

On top of all this my weight is still up. I have an unhealthy relationship with food that I’ve been fighting since my early teen years. I just can’t anymore. My mood has been so up and down lately. It’s just frustrating. And now I go to implement my base building training plan and it’s like my body is fighting me. It’s not fair and it’s not okay with me. 

I feel like this accurately sums up my life right now. That checkered flag could be one of a million things, pick one, any of them, all of them. 

I guess that’s it. I don’t really have much else to say other than I feel frumpy and sad and betrayed by my body. But, life will go on I’m sure. And sooner or later I’ll get over those hills and through the storm and reach out and grab that checkered flag. Someday. 

5 Replies to “Me vs. The Universe”

  1. Oh no! I feel the same way. I’ve been skipping workouts the past few days so that I can lay on the sofa and cry. Mine is mostly work related, but I’m definitely in a funk and hate it! I hope you feel better soon! You should go do something fun and non workout related to cheer yourself up. Or you can do what I did and sign up for the Ugly Sweater Run. The thought of running 3.1 miles through blow up Christmas decorations while wearing an ugly sweater and getting 2 free beers at the finish cheers me up!

  2. Must be something in the air. I’m feeling slightly unmotivated these days which is so unlike me. I’m also having knee issues. I saw my PT yesterday and I’ve got a whole bunch of inflamed tendons in both my knees. I can still run but it’s afterwards that really hurts. I’ve got to work on strengthening my hips. Something I was doing and then stopped. Ugh. Hopefully you get everything sorted out soon!!

  3. Well I think it’s a good thing that you are able to recognize this slump that you are currently in, that alone should help you get on the up and up. We have all been there, little things start to happen that we are not a fan of then we just notice more and more little things and it all adds up to bring us down a bit. But fear not, this too shall pass! You are a strong woman and you can pull out of this slump. When something positive comes along really grab on and use it as the rope to pull you out. We are all here to support you! 🙂

  4. A combination of winter blues and post race slump. I did absolutely nothing for 4/6 weeks after my Oly tri in Sept. No part of me was motivated to to get back at it OR keep from stuffing my mouth with large quantities of junk food. I think all of us who race in some capacity go through the same thing. My hip is on fire now too and really doesn’t want me to put on my running shoes, ever…again.:)

    I think once your HIM training kicks in it might help – I know for me having a set training plan for a big event is the only thing that keeps me going. Get your body checked out and stay on the course, girl. We’re all here for support! THIS TO SHALL PASS

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