I think I need to just close my office door, put my head down on my desk, and make my way through my stash of Reese’s mini cups I swiped out of the candy bowl. My morning work program neglected to tell me I was cancelled this morning. I drove out there, walked in, and got the “oh, you’re here, no one told you”.
I guess I’m just really starting to feel burnt out. In two months I’ll have a Master’s degree in hand and I already have two professional credentials, but I feel stagnant. I’m tired of being chained to a desk 9-5, I dislike driving all over the county to run canned programs, and I’m super duper horribly exhausted over being severely underpaid. I’d like my salary to break the poverty line, please and thank you. My mortgage, car loan, students loans, credit card, insurances, and home ownery related bills don’t pay themselves. Then, ya know, I need more than a few pennies to buy groceries and put gas in my car. Guess I need to start rubbing my pennies together harder. Sigh. I shouldn’t have to feel panic stricken when I realize I’m out of facewash and the house is out of paper towels and I have to actually number crunch my budget for the $10 I need to buy these things. It’s not fun and I’m sure if I didn’t dye my hair you’d find a fair number of grays despite me being only 25.
I just ate a Reese’s cup. Yes I have a race on Sunday. Don’t judge me.
Being burnt out on work right now is tough. Next week starts Red Ribbon week and my schedule pretty much goes nuclear with things I have to do and programs I need to run.
I guess I ought to take my frustrations out in the gym tonight. I have spinning then after that I need, need to get my footpod calibrated so I can start running inside next week, so it’ll be outside to the track after spin class. Get that all calibrated up then maybe get a few easy miles in as my last run before my half marathon Sunday. And now also to burn off the small mountain of Reeses mini cups I just mindlessly ploughed through while writing this.
Sometimes though, I just need to remember that I’m better off than a lot of my young counterparts and that I live in beautiful wine country.
It’s hard not to get caught up in the here and now but at the same time that grass is always greener mentally can totally take hold and make you yearn for something unknown, which is bad and good I guess. I don’t know. My mind is all a mess lately. I’m stressed, frustrated, broke, and burnt out on work, life, everything. Hopefully a good workout tonight will help. I cannot wait for my half Ironman training to start. I need something to fixate on I think.