That Thing Holding You Back

This week. It did not go as planned.

Despite having Monday off I still had an awful hell of a week. It was quiet here in TGC land, but my life was very loud and busy.

Monday I had so many workout plans. So many. But they all required me to drive all the way to school and back to retrieve my gym bag that I left under my desk on accident. That was enough to start my week off kind of crummy. I did however get in a workout. I swam 1500 yards with some endurance drills thrown in then ran 2.5 miles. Thankfully my run was pain free, albeit the treadmills at the YMCA and my Garmin couldn’t agree on my distance.


You know what’s really difficult? Putting on a sports bra in a tiny bathroom stall while still damp from your swim. Holy crap, you need to be a semi-pro contortionist to pull that off. Yeesh. All said and done though, I was happy with my Monday workouts.

Tuesday I went to spinning, because that’s what I do.

I had planned to take Wednesday as a rest day, which was well timed. School this past week stressed me out beyond belief. Just so much going on, I’m behind in planning, my kiddos have to take shitty common core SLO’s this week and because I missed a week of school I’m behind in my curriculum. The outcome of those SLO’s are 20% of my evaluation for the year, basically my job security is tied to the results, and I haven’t taught everything my kids need yet to be successful on them. So I’m kind of in panic mode at this point. Can I cram an entire unit into Monday? Probably not, but I’m sure as hell gonna try. It might kill me though. If it’s quiet here again this week it’s safe to assume I’m most likely dead.

Not even just that, but I just let the stress get under my skin all week. I showed up at the gym Thursday around 4pm with the intention of running. Running has always been my best stress reliever and I opted not to sign up for spinning because I just needed to run.

I looked into the gym, saw every treadmill occupied, and walked back out. The pitfalls of working out at a college fitness center. The students don’t follow a typical 9-5 schedule and they just got back from break, so I’m seeing delayed onset resolutioners. I promptly walked out, got into my car, and cried.

At that point I did no more working out until Sunday when I ran 2 miles outside in the snow. Nothing crazy or exciting. In terms of workouts my week was a total bust. My new ipod showed up and I had it all loaded with music and paired with my headphones, so I wanted to run. And with some light snow coming down it was nice to get out, even if only for 2 miles.

This week is already shaping up to be another stress filled mess of a week for me. It’s the last week of the quarter and I have so much freaking work to do at school. I feel like just crawling under my desk and hiding until Friday. I feel like crying just thinking about it. Then we have our final track meet of the season on Saturday which I may end up going to solo, which will royally suck. So that really sucks and I’m not terribly pleased about it, but what can you do, ya know?


I’m just, blah. Stress eating, not working out enough, stressing over work and over life and over things beyond my control. Everything just feels like it’s all caving in at once.

I’m already counting down the days until winter break. Three more weeks. Woof.

I have a bag packed so tomorrow after track I can run on one of the treadmills at work. Not ideal, but better than fighting the gym crowd at 530. And I’m going to take a deep breath and not let the stress that will be this week completely swallow me whole.

Just breathe.

17 Replies to “That Thing Holding You Back”

  1. I’m sending you calming thoughts…Can you feel them? 😉

    I totally understand…we have Iowa Assessments coming up in 2 weeks and everyone is freaking out about the students doing well. Thankfully our administration realizes that our performance may not be directly linked to student performance, so our jobs don’t depend on their scores, but it is still stressful.

    I hope you have some stress release soon and can enjoy some you time!! 😉
    Kecia recently posted…27 weeks Ironman BoulderMy Profile

    1. I wish our administration was that understanding! The success rate of our students on these exams is 20% of my overall end of year evaluation, so it’s a big deal, and they make you know it’s a big deal.

      Thanks for the calming thoughts, I can totally feel them!

  2. Is there any way you can workout before you get to your teaching job? I have taught for 39 years and while I was exhausted by 1:30 today, I was glad I got in my 4 miles (run) this a.m. because I am WAY too tired to do anything but maybe swim after work! (I work with preschoolers with special needs). I have been getting up at the crack of dawn for years and am kind of used to it by now. It’s a nice way to wake up and then you have the workout out of the way! Just a thought!

  3. Putting on a sports bra, or clothes in general, when not completely dry is torture. I have done with a couple times and it’s nearly impossible. I also hate when I forget to let my swimsuit completely dry and have to put it on when it is cold and damp. Gah!

    Sorry that your weeks have seemed so stressful lately. You are doing a good job of accomplishing what you can and keeping your head up. It will get better!
    Kristen @ Glitter and Dust recently posted…IMCanada Weeks Three and Four: Life is a WhirlwindMy Profile

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